The Common Riding Haggis

Hiya. Ma name is Jeemy. A um a wild haggis and A um lucky tae be livin the now. This is how A survived.

Weel it wis a braw bonnie day in ma hame toon Selkirk. A wis gettin awfae wound up and lookin forrit tae the Common Ridin whit wis the day efter. Och aye it wis grand sittin there in the tall blades o gress on Selkirk Hill. Suddenly A heard a wee noise feraway sae A walked doon tae the toon tae see whit wis gaun oan. Aw it wis the soond o the braw bress band. A wis gey amused wi the band so A decided tae bide the night in the toon sae A could see the band the next day. Sae A cooried doon in the Shirra Short Breid Close and fell asleep.

Pum Pum Pum Piddle Iddle Iddle Um

That wis the first noise A heard in the mornin when A woke up. A wis sae excited A wis jumpin up an doon. But A jumped ower high an landit in a trombola. It wis a peety the wee man wis blawin it at the time an A blocked the soond. The pair wee fellie wis tryin tae play bit he couldnae. His pair wee face wis gettin reider and reider an A thought he wis goin tae burst a bluid vessle. A crood had githered roond the pair wee man. Eventuly efter a load o puffin an blawin wi a huge effort he blew me up in tae the air.

A landed in front o a muckle horse beastie. It wis the standard bearer's horse. CLONK CLONK went the horse's feet, CLONK CLONK CLONK. A wis sae feart. A didnae want tae move in case A got steppit on, but A couldnae bide where A wis could A? A o a sudden A heard an important voice shouting, "STOP! STOP THE BAND!" The band an aw the folk stoppit stock still. Then a tall man got doon frae his horse, scooped me up frae ablow the horse's feet and put me in front o him on his horse. He was the standard bearer an he had saved ma life.

Thegither oo rode roond the mairches an as we came in at the toll a huge cheer rose frae the crood. An A wis the proodest haggis in aa Scotland. Oo trotted up tae the toon tae cast the colours. A sat oan the platform proodly. A wis prood tae be a Scottish haggis but maist o aw prood tae be a Souter.